Sunday XI

Captain:  Matt Allan

Home ground:  Brewery Road, Horsell

2008 Fixtures\Results

2007 Player of the Year:  Matt Allan

2007 Reports

Hotting Up

On a swelteringly hot afternoon in Horsell, the returning Captain Matt did the crucial thing and called correctly giving W&H the opportunity to bat first against Shepperton. With the pressure of the wicket taking competition really starting to tell on Jerry he dropped out at the last minute to be replaced by Henry, our overseas star. Three overs later Henry was back in the pavilion, muttering about retirement, probably not helped by Charlie’s frequent references to the pitch being another road. Meanwhile Sunday debutant Tim Ming was showing just why he is so highly rated with a string of lovely shots and competent defence. At the other end Ferrari batted as only he can, much to the frustration of the slip cordon and amusement of his team mates. When Tim fell to a good catch for a well made 29, shortly followed by Ferrari, a score of 55-3 looked ominous. However Billy continued his rich vein of form, announcing himself with some typical lusty blows and in combination with the steady Albert the score moved past 100. When Albert fell, Gribbler came to the crease determined to make the most of the one extra game his schedule had allowed. With the assistance of some dropped catches he put on 50 with Billy who by now had passed a well deserved half century  and was looking well set. It was a surprise to all when Billy played one shot too many and was caught for an excellent 75, including 64 in boundaries. The old adage of “punish the rubbish” was never truer and Henry’s grumbles about where were his half volleys fell on deaf ears. Sunday cricket can be a great leveller! When Gribbler fell for 25, Uzi joined Matt in one of the most entertaining partnerships of the season as they added 46 in just over four overs. With Uzi pushing Matt to the physical limits a three was run without the ball even leaving the square causing Charlie to comment “that’s how cricket should be played”. Not sure he would have said the same had he been bowling! The declaration came at 211-6 off 40 overs.

 A quiet tea followed as the heat played its part. After his exertions with Uzi, Matt handed over new ball duties to Henry and John Hargan. Despite a number of play and misses the score moved past 50 without loss, not helped by another shocking drop from the returning vice captain off John. Rumours that this was all part of his master plan to ensure the maximum number of wickets were available when he came on to bowl have been wildly exaggerated. However when Smithy did come on it only took three balls to remove the same player he had previously dropped, this time caught by John. A fine, but unrewarded spell of bowling from Matt was followed by a less successful spell from Uzi  at which point in an effort to slow things down Matt turned to Albert to do his best impression of Jerry. By now Lloyd had turned up to watch and was positively licking his lips at the possibility of a return to the fold next week. Albert’s spell proved inspired as he “ripped” the heart out of the middle order, aided by a simply stunning slip catch from Billy who just could not get out of the way of a flying edge. With Peter proving inspired behind the stumps, 116-1 rapidly became 147-6 as Smithy and Albert picked up three wickets apiece. A fine game got better as Shepperton’s number eight joined the not out opening bat who was well on his way to three figures. Matt returned to replace Albert as the overs started to tick away and crucially took the wicket of the opener for a fine 96, well caught by Albert. With the score 193-7 the largest crowd of the season had a close finish on the cards. Smithy was replaced by Henry but still the final wickets would not come as Shepperton continued to look for the win. Once again it was Captain Matt who made the breakthrough as he removed the number eight for an aggressive 30. With four overs to go and two wickets required Matt turned to John to finish the job. He did not disappoint as he bowled superbly, both full and straight, to bowl the final two batsmen and give W&H the win by a mere 11 runs with 9 balls remaining.

 An excellent game of cricket all round and a fine team performance. Credit also to Shepperton for continuing to push for the win and making for such a good finish.

 As thoughts turn to Old Ashfordians next week, Smithy leads Jerry by three wickets, although Matt is catching fast. Billy will look to continue his fine form and  is probably the leading run scorer in the club now. Farewell to Gribbler too for another year, he will be missed, not least by Smithy whose bowling has not always pleased the ex-skipper whose hands were stung on two occasions by some short leg side rubbish. The return of Lloyd is eagerly anticipated, as is the hoped for return of Jerry. Surely the pressure is not too much already?! And the biggest question for next week is can Uzi and Matt actually run four without the ball leaving the square?!

 The season is indeed hotting up ...

This was the day many of us had been waiting for

This was the day many of us had been waiting for – only one of the contenders for leading wicket taker was present and surely this would be the day when Jerry took the opportunity to leave his rivals behind. The early promise of much beer for the stand-in skipper meant that the Brookwood batsmen would be seeing quite a lot of him.

We started late, mainly due to some last minute additions to the playing staff, so we had a game of 11 a side.

Brookwood won the toss and, having looked long and hard at the first virgin pitch the Sunday XI had had for some time, decided to put W&H in to bat.

The W&H innings had a familiar feel to it. We got off to a brisk start until the stand-in skipper was given out LBW in the 8^th over. Sam Way and Ferrari then consolidated against some tidy bowling before Sam, taking a leaf out of the book of Andrew Murphy, was guilty of blatant jug avoidance when on 49. He lobbed a catch to mid-off, where a familiar looking Brookwood fielder (more about him later) dropped a dolly, allowing Sam a single. The applause for the 50 was still well deserved. Sam kept going until he tried to belt a straight one and was bowled for 77. This brought our two stalwarts together – young Albert injecting his customary enthusiasm and speed to the proceedings. When the stalwarts departed for 29 and 23 respectively, our Greek immigrant (who can count his own score, if no-one else’s) and Uzi got stuck into the Brookwood bowling, before we called a halt to proceedings on 215 for 5. Gribbler’s 33 was another good knock and, as he leaves us now for this summer, he will be sorely missed, although we are not sure by whom.

Tea was, as usual, a splendid affair and, suitably fuelled, W&H took the field to try and get back to winning ways.

Sideshow and Uzi opened taking one a piece in a good opening spell. The Brookwood opener, a strangely familiar figure, batted well for a much deserved 18 runs. He was sporting a new bat – a slightly smaller version of the one wielded by Bilal Mir – with edges bigger than many middles. A good knock by Ed and our thanks to him for standing in for Brookwood.

Once Ed went, the Brookwood number 3 chanced his luck and was dropped at least twice and missed a couple of other times. The biggest disappointment was when Sideshow did him, only to watch a feeble effort in the slips by his dad. Failing to get the number 3 proved our undoing, despite good bowling efforts by Jerry (12 overs; 2 for 35), Sideshow 1 for 20 off 10; Uzi 1 for 25 off 8, young Albert and Tarun (a slightly wayward but troublesome 0 for 16). We also had the left armer (the word slow does not do him justice) Ferrari, to whom the skipper turned in a moment of desperation. Adam (1 for 24 off 5) had an excellent start to his Sunday bowling career and left the field to encouraging words from his captain, telling him to keep his index finger for his spinning in future. Highlight of the innings a superb stumping by Peter off Jerry – the appeal had a strange ring to it – “take that Smithy” being a new one for this correspondent. Peter did express his neutrality in the race for wickets and indicated that the correspondent’s hearing may have been faulty.

Brookwood’s innings fizzled out at 132 for 5, slightly disappointing that they put up the shutters quite so early, but a good game nonetheless. The groundsman, well fuelled by this time, kept repeating how he had prepared a “road” for us to bat on. Shame we ended up on the hard shoulder.

Jerry did not get enough to take the lead again in the race to win the biggest prize in cricket – leading wicket taker in the Sunday XI of Woking and Horsell – but the gap is now down to one.

The Captain and Vice Captain return next week – not before time say the rest of the team.

Why Does It Always Rain On Me?

 Julius Caesar, if you are to believe Shakespeare, once said:  “There is a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood, leads to wherever Gribbler is playing cricket.  Having missed more games through inclement weather last season than your average Bangladeshi village side in rainy season, I had been hoping last week’s beautiful blue skies had heralded a new dawn.  Fat chance.    Turning up at Brewery Road, plenty of chuntering was going on about our prospects. Only Dave fancied our chances of getting a game in, and he was pretty reluctant to put his money where his mouth was when offered the chance of a wager with the skipper.

 Arriving at Ottershaw the sun finally broke through the clouds.  Our resident weatherman looked smug.  I however just stared uncomprehendingly at the sky like someone who’d spent the last tweny years in an Austrian cellar.  This surprise may account for my attempt to throw Connie’s ball using Erica’s chucking-contraption, with the result that it went backwards.  The dog looked at me with well-merited disgust.

 Play started relatively promptly, with the skipper losing the toss and being inserted.  Usman and Dave led off,  Dave in particular looking very strong whenever Ottershaw’s opening pair strayed onto his pads.  Uzi provided able support until, having played football in the morning, he got confused and volleyed one into his stumps with his back foot.  Joined at the wicket by John Kettley, Dave continued to look good at the crease until our resident meteorologist whacked one into the rainless sky and departed.  Albert, a man in need of a score was next in and was able to profit from Dave’s spadework, playing beautifully for his fifty, shortly followed by Dave, an innings of great maturity and no little quality.

 With the fall of Albert, Gribbler was brought to the crease.  Now, if you’ve been following up to this point you’ll probably be able to work out what happened next.  Rain, first light, then heavy, started falling the moment I took guard.  And to think the Bar Chairman has invited me to his barbecue next week – the idiot.

 Anyway, the rain grew steadily heavier and to cut a (very) long story short, the game was abandoned without another ball being bowled.  That did however, give Kettley plenty of opportunity to pillage the tea, and for Charlie to do his Mrs Doyle impression.

 Anyway, I won’t be around this Sunday.  The UN World Food Programme is paying for me to go and play cricket in South-East Asia.  Expect the world rice shortage to be alleviated forthwith. 

Special mentions this week to Dave and Albert, between them doubling the team tally of fifties for the season.  Two contrasting innings providing what would have been a testing target.  Just a shame they won’t count for the averages...

WHCC 197-6 dec - C Murphy 43, S Zafar 35

Surrey Gymkhana 151 AO - M Allan 5-37

Sunday morning dawned warm and bright as Brewery Road prepared to host Surrey Gymkhana.  Upon their somewhat late arrival the skipper duly won the toss and decided to bat, much to the relief of one or two of our number, who were feeling decidedly unwell following the previous night’s festivities.  Smithy declared that Mrs Smith had spent the morning urging him to pull out, at which point we wondered when he’d become a Catholic.

 Billy and Sam got us off to a solid start before Sam, showing a total disregard for the old maxim – ‘Never pull a straight one at Brewery Road before the end of June’ was out LBW.  Billy continued unruffled at the other end before having a wild swipe at a straight one and being bowled for 15.  Dave and Albert got in and out, leaving us precariously balanced at 75-4.  Gribbler, looking scratchier than a flea-ridden mutt gradually played himself into some form, ably assisted by the never knowingly orthodox Salam.  80 was added at about a run a ball before both persished going for one big shot too many.  Matt and Khakan were next in, both playing some lusty blows before the skipper called a close to the innings at 197-6 off 37 overs.

 The opposition started strongly in reply, thrashing Albert and Smithy to all parts, Albert at least compensated by the wicket of one of their openers.  Smithy’s figures may have been similarly burnished had Peter managed to keep his trousers up.  The elastic having gone, he spent an over keeping to Albert with one hand, desperately clutching his waistline with the other, like a clown who’s forgotten his braces.  Leaving the field for repairs, Salam took up the gloves, only to drop a sitter off our anguished leg-“spinner”.

 The skipper turend to himself and Jerry to turn the tide, Smithy’s grumbling halted after dropping a catch of equal simplicity off his rival for leading wicket taker.  Rumours of skullduggery abounded.  At this point, their opener, reaching his fifty at more than a run a ball, decided that having been dropped by Smithy he had achieved everything he wanted to in cricket, and promptly retired himself out.  From a position of supremacy at 87-1, Surrey Gymkhana collapsed utterly, aided by some fine bowling by Matt, to 151 all out.

 A splendid day’s cricket, against a great bunch of lads, who never thought of shutting up shop when defeat looked likely.  Special mention to the skipper, most importantly for winning the toss and batting, but also for an excellent all round display.  (And if that doesn’t get me out of umpiring for the second week running nothing will)

Woking & Horsell 203 for 5

Merrow 122 for 7

We arrived on a warm, sunny and windy afternoon to find CJ on the heavy roller (no, sadly Scotty wasn’t back in the squad), wheel in one hand and a bottle on Becks in the other, no change there then, preparing a belter of a cricket wicket for the Sunday all stars.

The W&H Skipper (wot a great tosser he is) won the flip of the coin and chose to bat.  Hargan (senior) having seen a missed opportunity being relegated to the no.5 spot after doing a splendid job of opening last week, took to grumbling like we’ve not seen before.  Someone was quoted as saying that the Krankies were back in town…

The openers got us off to an excellent start by putting on 84 for the first wicket with fine driving by Sam Way, Salami treating us to a variety of attacking gusto with some typical leg glances and pulls. Sam made 30 before being caught, this brought Ferrari to the crease.  The Italian Stallion, with head marginally outshining Charlie’s strip, played a typical innings that proved to be the backbone for the side.  Salami reached a very well deserved 50 and announced his intention to go on and get his first hundred for the club was bowled playing a very loose shot the very next ball!

Mark, of overseas persuasion, needed a gentle reminder shortly after coming to the crease that in England, if you hit the ball and get caught behind you should walk.  Still, only a moment or two after his aberration he got his comeuppance when he took a large stride down the wicket, got wrapped on the pads and triggered by the umpire.

This bought Billy to the crease, with almost a run a ball, looked in fine form striking a handsome 22 before getting his feet in the wrong position and finding himself being given LBW.  In true Krankie style, he made his way back to the pavilion mumbling and crumbing before launching his bat at his kit bag!

Both Paul (unfortunately run out in an attempt to take a cheeky single) and Matt played brief cameo innings (18 & 20 respectively) scoring quickly before the skipper declared the innings at 4.40pm, Leaving Ferrari on a well built & cultured 41 not out at the end.

An excellent Tea provided by the charming Hall Family (where wos Albert? absent again – the team are starting to talk….) provided a brief interlude before the experienced Paul and young debutant Phil opened the W&H attack. 

Paul bowled a tight 12 overs, taking 1 for 21, decided to change ends half way through when he had a problem with ‘wind’.  Phil showed little nerves and gave us a very impressive display of his blossoming talent by showing great control and moving the ball off the seam.  He ended up taking 2 wickets for 22 from 10 overs – surely one for the future (sadly unlike your correspondent for the day).  Must make mention of the excellent catch taken by Billy in the slips which gave him cause to smile (or he will probably kick the sh*t out of me next week). 

With the oppo at 26 for 2, making rather heavy weather of the run chase, Jerry was bought into the attack to torment them with nagging flight, length and line but could only tease out 1 for 31 from his 11 overs.  This now means he is one wicket behind the absent Smudge as leading wicket taker for the season, a battle likely to go all the way…..

Salami had a go at giving it some flight, but shouldn’t have bothered really, Mark bowled with some venom and managed to take a couple of wickets and the skipper took a splendid caught and bowled in his 1 for 5 from three overs.

Sadly the game fizzled out a bit at the end, there opener finished with 46, having been there for 44 overs (and we only received 42!).

Still, despite the draw some good cricket was in evidence throughout the day, although disappointed to not have won, we go forward with confidence to play some very nice gentlemen from Surrey Gymkhana next week.

Valley End 187 for 7

W & H 188 For 6

After last weeks Tie at Old Wimbledonians W&H set of to Valley End in their continuing search for that elusive away Win.

 After much discussion over directions to the ground this proved to be rather more difficult for Captain Matt and the rest of the Allen family who proceeded to scour Chobham and the surrounding countryside, eventually arriving at their destination thanks to Smithy guiding them in with mobile phone.

 Valley End then proceeded to bat and got of to a solid start. Mark Hodgkiss (0-45) and Captain Matt (0-27) tried but were unable to get the breakthrough and the signs were ominous a big total was looming.

Enter the twirly kings of  Peter Smith (3-67) and Jerry Allen (3-29) to peg back the scoring rate (well Jerry did!) and take some wickets, the score went from 77 for 0 to

150 for 7 with the bowling ably assisted by some excellent fielding and good catches by Adam Infante and Chris Way. Woking though could not finish off the tail and a late flurry of runs saw a declaration at 187 for 7.

 After an excellent tea Woking set about their target, openers Billy Hargan (35) and Sam Way (10) got the innings flowing especially Billy who was smashing the ball to the boundry at regular intervals. Sam departed with the score on 39 and Billy was then caught off the toe of the bat. Albert (11) then join Mark Hodgkiss (31) to try and get the runs required below 100 before the last 20 overs. Unfortunately Albert departed caught off first slip’s boot and Mark was caught at mid-on. This brought the two young guys who had fielded so well to the crease Chris Way (16) and Adam Infante (25no).The score was pushed along and even after Chris was Run Out, Adam was joined by Captain Matt (22) to almost see Woking home until Matt (who admitted after) played a rash shot and was bowled with 10 still needed. Hamza joined Adam and the remaining runs were accrued to secure a fine win by 4 Wickets, Adam finishing on 25 Not Out a very mature innings for one so young.

 Success at last an AWAY WIN!

 A good all round performance with everyone contributing including Allen senior who was once again HPO!

Old Wimbledonians 137 ao

W&H 137 for 9

Captain Matt’s goal of not losing away from home was successfully achieved as W&H claimed a dramatic tie against Old Wimbledonians on a gloriously sunny day in Wimbledon.

 Matt won the toss and decided to field much to the dismay of everyone who seemed rather more in favour of a spot of batting and sunbathing rather than forty overs of running around in the sweltering heat.  However, after many mumbles and grumbles it was widely acknowledged that Matt had indeed made the right decision.

 Sadly, this was not reflected in the start of the match as the Old Wimbledonians’ openers saw off our opening bowlers and looked set for a good score.  However, while the openers could deal with the pace of Muneeb and Paul, they were left dumbfounded by Jerry’s guile, flight and considerable lack of pace as he ripped through the opponent’s top order finishing up with excellent figures of 3 for 28.  Matt had originally been concerned that W&H would be one or two bowlers short but Albert responded brilliantly to the threat of Billy turning over his arm to deliver figures of 2 for 34 including the deception of a useful middle order bat with a crafty slower ball.  Matt took an excellent catch off his own bowling and was unlucky not to get more than his solitary wicket.  Paul and Muneeb returned to provide an eventful finish to the innings.  Muneeb got two wickets in two balls and faced the prospect of getting his second hat-trick of the weekend.  Perhaps more surprisingly, this also presented the prospect of the Sunday XI recording back to back hat-tricks in matches.  Unfortunately, possibly due to Albert saying that Muneeb would have to buy the team a jug in Prague, Muneeb’s hat-trick ball did not deliver another wicket.  Paul returned at the other end to pick up two wickets and record the impressive figures of 2 for 14 from 8 overs.  This left Old Wimbledonians all out for 137.  The bowling attack had done an excellent job but they had been especially ably supported by Peter, who gave a master class of wicketkeeping including an instinctive catch and a superb stumping standing up to Matt. Thanks to “interesting” umpiring decisions, both these excellent pieces of skill are not in the scorebook but they will be remembered in the Sunday XI match report, which is far, far more important.

 After a delicious tea, W&H felt relatively optimistic about chasing a total that appeared to be easily within reach.  However, after Jamie and Ferrari had been dismissed early on by two superb diving catches, the team faced an uphill battle.  David and Albert rebuilt the innings and when Albert departed for an excellent 36, the team needed 70 at about five runs an over.  Conor came in and hit the shot of the day, a lovely straight drive for four, before losing his wicket the very next ball.  David then followed him the next over, departing for a tortoise-like 20.  This left Billy and Matt at the crease and they added some much needed impetus to the innings as a flurry of boundaries brought W&H closer to the winning total.  However when Matt fell for 14 and Billy for a quick fire 20, things were looking bleak as there was still plenty of work to do.  Muneeb came and went and this brought Paul to the crease with Jerry.  They batted well and going into the last over W&H needed 9 to win.  Two twos and an excellent four from Paul meant that the scores were tied with two balls left.  Unfortunately, a dot ball and a stumping meant that the team was denied a famous victory. 

 Well played everyone, it was a pretty good team performance and now W&H can look forward to winning their first away game of the season at Valley End next Sunday and at least the captain’s objective of not losing the game was nobly achieved – if not quite in the way Matt expected!!     

W&H 184 for 7 (Ferrari 43; J Hargan 34; R Hall 33; M Hodgkiss 29no; M Allan 26)

Lyne 155 ao (P Smith 3 for 16; J Hargan 3 for 17)

 After an absence of one week – a  Sunday 11 match report!  The Sunday team took to the field against Lyne. It is pleasant to play a team like Lyne as they have some players who make our own Sunday veterans look young (well if not young, at least not too old).

The afternoon got off to an interesting start as the apiarist did a spot of vacuuming to remove a few unwelcome visitors from the hedge.

 Once the bees were sorted, Captain Matt lost the toss. Much to our delight the opposition captain took pity on him and asked W&H to bat. Matt tried to hide a grin and skipped back to inform his happy team.

Lyne then informed us that they had only 10 players and the youngest Hargan was, once again, pressed into service for the opposition.

 W&H got off to a poor start, reminiscent of last week without the backward dancing, and lost both openers (extremely unluckily) for 13. Enter the gladiators – Ferrari, looking like Russell Crowe with a bald head, belly, no muscles and glasses, and Albert, looking like ………….Albert.

Albert was inspired as Mrs Cooper, the wife of the colts chairman when he was a colt, was there watching him and kept referring to “young Albert”. The most surprising thing about this was that there was colts cricket so long ago.

The gladiators put on 58 for the 3^rd wicket. Then Christmas arrived and young Albert got over excited and was tempted by the first pie of the afternoon. He popped a weedy shot to mid off. From the sidelines, where he has played a lot of good cricket, Charlie questioned Albert’s bat and muscle strength loudly. Next came the skipper - he knocked a breezy 26 before picking out the best fielder in the Lyne side, who took a good catch. By now Ferrari was cruising in the outside lane and he was joined by the much travelled and very late Hodgkiss, batting in the unusually low position of number 6. As time moved on Ferrari got excited and tried to belt a straight one, falling for an excellent 43. Jerry lasted four balls before the language barrier with Hodgkiss took its toll and he was left stranded. Enter the middle Hargan, aka Sideshow, who belted a quick fire 34 off 32 balls before losing his middle peg. Once again the watching crowds were spared the sight of Smithy batting – even his sons were happy. 184 for 7 seemed a good total on a strip best described as variable (other words were used, but this may be read by children and groundsmen).

 Often on Sundays the highlight is the tea and this was no exception. With all the W&H players fighting Erica for the egg sandwiches, and Hodgkiss renewing his acquaintance with Jaffa cakes. Another big thank you to the female Halls for looking after us so well.

 Lyne started off the chase of 184, but were soon one down when Jerry caught a ball which was about to decapitate him. All was well for Lyne until the 9^th over when Sideshow produced 3 straight balls in a row to claim his first senior hat-trick. Everyone was happy, except his dad who had the dubious pleasure of scoring only 4 runs and still having to buy a jug!! A great 91 by the Lyne number 3, Barry Huxley, almost saw them home until he was last man out with only a couple of overs remaining. Hodgkiss had tried every trick in the book and a few from outside it and finally had got his man. Jamie McMahon had blotted his copy book by catching the young Hargan for 0. Jerry took this as revenge on the 12 year old Angus, who had him caught behind off a “ball he never hit” at the Bank of England last year. Peter Smith showed it is never too late to learn as he got some turn and bounce to take 3 for 16.

A good game played in good spirit; all 3 results were possible until a few overs from the end and we even managed a few beers with the opposition afterwards – can’t be bad

Today’s game was bizarre from the outset. Where was the panic? All the players were…well, present, even Salaam. There was a pitch. At 1.30 there was even evidence that the oppo believed the fixtures was at our place too. Surely this couldn’t last.

The captain won the toss. Chose to bat. The high pitched shriek of ipod based teeny bopper pop music reassured all that tea preparation was underway. The sun came out. Smithy debated fetching his shades, so the sun went in.

Salaam and Dave Bennett opened up. Interestingly, there’s only one Salaam and one David in the side but I still felt the need to provide clarification about which Dave opened, whilst everyone reading this knows full well who Salaam is. The other Dave has long since lost the right to be called Dave, and is universally referred to as Ferrari, in deference to his …….well, not Ferrari.

Jerry just about managed to make sure you had to read this drivel by passing on the match report duties as the opening bowler marked out his run.  Dave and Salaam made a predictable start, Salaam chipping one through the air through fine leg, and another.  The teeny bop sounded like Oasis on speed.

W&H scored 180 or so for …five or so? Most people got a few – Hodgkiss with some classy strokes in the mid thirties predictable cameo, and Matt one particularly majestic straight six, which he considerately made sure bounced the right way off the oak tree between the sight screen and the nets. Lloyd chipped in late on with a pavilion thudding slap for four off his legs, and Billy took good advantage of  some looser stuff in notching  a few. Everyone contributed; the good news being that 10 and 11 didn’t even need to change.

Tea featured a Ferrari campaign to remove WHCC from the table near the toilet to the table near the window. There  was a variety of offspring present, ensuring that their parents didn’t over indulge, and Erika made a significant impact on the egg sandwiches and lemon cake. She didn’t trouble herself so far as the pizza was concerned.  Bennett and Hargan Jnr (previously known as Sideshow) continued with the Cake Boy Worgan strategy for maximum calorific intake and Hodgekiss announced that he’d never encountered a jaffa cake before attending WHCC. WHCC has been responsible for many firsts in young men’s lives, but surely none of this significance. Hodgekiss was informed that he wouldn’t be bowling: the issues may or may not have been related.

John Hargan opened up, bowling rapidly from the Johnson end. Salaam let it though and Fortescue fetched it from the hedge.  Fortescue started from the other end and there was copious collecting from hedges. Hargan made inroads, inviting the bat to slap a long hop to Hodgekiss, who took this as an opportunity to suggest that he might like to bowl, so Hargan changed tack, getting a full toss juggled by Dave Bennet. Since I will absolutely get the sequence wrong, Hodgekiss took 4 catches, 3 of which were very good, even drawing silence from the prowling Johnson.  One batsman can consider himself very unlucky to be c Hargan Snr, b Smith in another episode of excellent cricket. Jerry was his usual unplayable self, featuring searing pace. Hodgekiss continued to warm up, keen, eager and ultimately frustrated.  Thameside were dismissed for about 120, with Roy the last to go, oddly enough bowled Smith caught Hodgekiss.  A good cricketing performance which can surely only be improved upon with the return of stalwart Hall and emerging youngster Hamster next week, provided he’s picked ahead of Johnson.

In the meantime a series of krypton factor events had been arranged. The chairman failed conspicuously in the ‘removing the tap’ from the gas event, having excelled in the previous ‘cleaning the barbecue’ round. The academics in the side, Bennett, Hagen Jnr  and Hodgekiss set about the challenge of opening the shed – the starter for 10, and then their bonus round of putting the ropes round the square. Their efforts were limited by Bennets insistence that he juggled his catch deliberately, and Hodgekiss’s insistence that (a) he should’ve bowled and (b) the ropes round the square were to keep the foxes out. These efforts provided humorous viewing for those in the bar until Billy took pity on his son and played the ‘essay in tomorrow’ joker and  dispatched him off with mum. Hodgekiss was undoubtedly explaining which end he might have preferred as he fell over trying to put a post into a hole.

In summary – bit chilly, won with plenty to spare. Game played in excellent spirits and teenagers making idiots of themselves. Good Sunday stuff – seriously though, can anyone see a team with Johnson, Salaam, Tanzeel and Hamster fielding for 50 overs without a fight?

WHCC 189-8 (40 Overs)

Weybridge 190-7 (28.1 Overs)

Like true professionals (in spirit) the Sunday XI arrived early at the welcoming ground of Weybridge for a prompt 1.30pm start. The relaxed atmosphere emphasized by the appearance from the bar of Peter Allan holding a hot-dog in one hand and a beer in the other, along with the glorious sunshine promised a day of pleasurable cricket for the players and the growing crowd.

With a delay to the start due to a colts game still in progress, the W&H team waited with hunger (more hot-dogs were consumed) to put their fire and skill into action.

Skipper Matt won his second toss of the season and elected to bat (to the great relief of the other W&H players).

With Sam and Salam ready to take to the field, Sam received a confidence boost in the shape of a tall French brunette who wanted to take his picture - naturally he reluctantly obliged and posed for the young lady. This left Sam with a very smug grin on his face and Salam asking why she didn't want a photo of him.

And so, at 2pm the Sunday XI's second game of the season commenced.

After a solid start to a decent opening attack of bowlers, Salam was first to depart (possibly distracted by the bikini-clad girls around the boundary).

This brought Mark H. into the action to produce a fine partnership of 69 runs with both himself and Sam showing a great display of strokeplay which was a pleasure to watch  (especially when I was umpiring, and forget to signal 4 runs).

Mark made 31 before being bowled and so introducing the welcome return of Dave (Ferrari) Gianotti who went on to make 31 runs off 43 balls - a very nice knock for his first innings of the season.

Other batsmen came and went, followed by Sam but not before he made his 50 from an array of beautiful shots.

Matt Allan put on an impressive 25 from 21 balls including 14 of the last over to take the WHCC score to 189-8.

Woking & Horsell opened their bowling with Mark and Hamsar, and couldn't have hoped for a better start as Mark's first ball whistled onto the stumps.

Third ball was hit at a nice comfortable height for a clean catch - unfortunately Jerry Allan's hands were dirty and dropped the ball....... (actually, the sun lotion on my hands must have made the ball slip out).

Weybridge took the opportunity to score a lot of runs very quickly and after 5 overs they had made 50 runs.

Hamza struggled to find his rhythm and was replaced with Sam but it was Mark who took the wickets of the no. 2 & 3 batsmen.

Into the attack came Khakan who bowled a nice spell and picked up 2 wickets for 31 runs off 6 overs.

Weybridge's run rate had slowed down and W&H were taking wickets but with some exceptions, it was a struggle to support the bowlers with some rather unorthodox fielding.

Unperturbed by the abuse from a section of the crowd of lagered up footballers who repeatedly let it be known that they didn't care much for the beautiful game....... of cricket, Peter Smith stepped up to bowl. With a wicket in his second over (a very nice catch from Dave Gianotti) Smithy ended with 1 wicket for 11 runs off 2 overs.

Weybridge needed 7 runs to win with four wickets in hand. Jerry Allan bowled an over and took a wicket - this time managing to hold on to the ball (the sun lotion had dried by this point) but it was all too late as Weybridge hit the winning run the next over.

The game was won or lost depending on your point of view and the players came off to echo's of applause from an appreciative crowd who had been entertained (most of the time..... well, some of the time) on what was a very enjoyable, sunny Sunday.

Sunday Muddy Sunday

WHCC 181-8 -  S Stevens 91*

Shalford 106 AO

The smell of the newly painted changing rooms was masked by the scent of Deep Heat and Wurthers Originals as the 2008 Antiquities XI assembled for their first game of the season. Some relief to the stench of decay was provided through teen spirit in the form of Sam Way and debutant Mark Hodgkiss. I wont, and neither should you, go into Peter Allan’s jockstrap.

 The morning was dominated by rain, phone calls and disbelief among many that we would play. The promised blue sky, however, appeared at noon and, after dusting the wicket with Charlie’s stash of grass in lieu of sawdust, we were good to go.

 The new captain won the toss, elected to bat and ingratiated himself to the bowlers who had neglected to keep fit or bring wellies.

 Billy and Sam started the innings against a Shalford attack that, after initially struggling with the Passchendaele pitch, settled into some tight bowling. After the openers had succumbed, the stage was set for the much heralded Mark H. Facing a better than usual Sunday bowling side, Mark showed, in making his 30, that there are many runs ahead for him in this team and anywhere else he can get a game.

 After the demise of Mark and Albert the team were looking a little unsteady on 67-4. What was needed now was for someone to miss and mistime the ball at one end while someone else hit the ball very hard and very far at the other - a requirement that was ably fulfilled by the captain and Scott Stevens respectively. Scott continued to threaten the wellbeing of the umpire and non-striking batsman in his familiar ferocious style, timing his shots beautifully on the way to an unbeaten 91.

 The W&H innings ended after their 40 overs on 181-8.

 Woking set about defending their total with Paul F and Scott opening the bowling (Scott having admirably declined the offer of a rest after his batting efforts). Paul cast aside any pre-match doubts over the condition of his back by delivering a tidy 8 overs and picking up a wicket for the cost of 27 runs.

 Mark replaced Scott (who received a bit of his own medicine by having the shiny new ball despatched onto the roof of Ashley Cook) and took 6 overs to dismiss the heart of Shalford’s batting line up in taking 3 for 14. After a very effective 4 over spell from John Dunbar, which produced two wickets, it was left to Jerry and Smithy to finish it off.

 Jerry produced a fine spell, figures of 3 for 7 off 6 and a look of absolute astonishment on the face of the batsman at the (lack of) pace of his first delivery. Smithy was the unluckiest player of the day after the batsman was stumped capably by Peter off the first delivery of his last over only to survive as a result of the absence of a square leg umpire and going on to hit 18 of the next 5 balls.

 Despite the captain showing a disregard for his personal safety and dignity in contriving to injure himself in the course of dropping two catches, the team achieved victory in bowling Shalford out for 116.

 A brief note of thanks to Stephanie and the girls for their excellent tea and Erica for her proficient scoring – we look forward to benefiting from their respective talents with nosh and numbers over the upcoming months.

 Next up is Crondall away, from where, in line with the new rotating reporter policy, Jerry will be your correspondent.

 SUN XI